Supporting Our Youth and Their Mental Health: Impact on Adulthood

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As part of our final blog for our Youth Mental Health series, we wanted to share some information on the role that a youth’s mental health can have on their transition into adulthood. The support that our children and teens receive for their mental health will shape the way they will approach future mental health concerns, and their health in general, as they become adults. It is important that we understand the impact we can have on our teens, and the benefits they can experience if we are proactive about providing them with support.

Listening to our youth’s concerns regarding their mental health and providing them with adequate support can show them that we care about them and their needs, and that it is important to prioritize our overall health. Alternatively, not providing support for their mental health can impact their transition into adulthood and how they view their mental health concerns. With appropriate support, our teens can experience the following as they transition into adulthood:

• Reduced stigma and shame as they talk about their Mental Health with others

• Feel encouraged to access mental health services when they feel they are struggling 

• Be willing to support others that share similar struggles or issues with their mental health

• Continue to have an open and honest discussion with you regarding their current needs and areas that need additional support

In addition to adequately addressing their mental health, supporting our youth’s physical, mental, and emotional needs can also help them in the following areas: 

• Developing the ability to engage in healthy friendships and romantic relationships that prioritize their need for a positive environment and support system

• Increase their overall self-esteem

• Increase their ability to independently engage in the healthcare services they need

A teen’s mental health will influence many factors, including their overall self-esteem, willingness to access care, and how they’re able to engage in services that support their needs. It is important that we learn how to best support them in order to positively influence their transition into adulthood. The type of relationship that a teen has with their parents, as well as the support they receive for their mental health, can make a significant impact on how they navigate complex situations, relationships, and other significant life events in adulthood. If you’d like to learn more about how to support your teen or want to get them connected to an experienced mental health provider, click here to schedule an appointment. 

Signs of “Toxic” Parenting: How you can support your teen

By Melody Wright, LMFT

As part of our current monthly blog series, we’ve learned about the different factors that can contribute to and impact our teen’s mental health. We’ve also learned what warning signs we should look out for that warrant an immediate connection to a Mental Health professional, as well as what resources to tap into if we suspect that our teen is struggling with their Mental Health. While many of these factors can be created by situations that we have little control over, such as school stressors or peer pressure from friends, some factors can come as a direct result of our interactions as parents.

Many parents are unaware of the ways in which their parenting style or approach may be impacting their teens. Although at times unintentional, certain parenting approaches may negatively impact a teen’s mental and emotional health. Some of the behaviors that negatively impact a teen’s mental health, which at times are labeled as “toxic,” can include:

• Yelling, name-calling, or consistently assigning blame

• Using the “silent treatment” as punishment or gaslighting others to avoid accepting responsibility

• Manipulating emotions by using guilt or shame

• Being overly critical, invading privacy, or attempting to control all aspects of your teen’s life

• Lacking boundaries

Some of these behaviors can be more easily identified than others. While yelling can be easy to recognize, assigning blame or “gaslighting” can be harder to acknowledge or point out. We also know that some of these behaviors may have been learned from our own parents or cultures, which makes it difficult to recognize that they may not be appropriate, or difficult to understand why we shouldn’t use them with our own children.  

Many of us can remember certain statements, actions, or behaviors that our parents or guardians used to exhibit that made us sad, frustrated, or angry. Over time, constant exposure to these behaviors can severely impact a person’s mental health. On the contrary, exposure to empathetic and supportive behaviors can improve their mental health, and foster a relationship that can make it easier for our teens to reach out to us when they need help. These behaviors include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Spending one-on-one time with your teen. This can help provide you with the time and space you need to talk to your teen about what is going on in their lives. Over time, your teen may feel comfortable enough to explain what may be impacting their Mental Health. 

• Listening to your child when they share there is something wrong, and not jumping to solutions or conclusions without discussing it with them first. 

• Having empathy for what your child is going through. While you may not understand why your child feels so strongly about a certain event or circumstance, it is important that you understand and care about what they’re experiencing. 

• Being kind, clear, and consistent when it comes to your teen’s need for privacy and boundaries. 

• Providing your teen with a sense of autonomy and respecting their space. 

• When emotions are high, setting a different time to have a conversation can help minimize the likelihood that you or your child will speak out of anger. Yelling, cursing, or using behaviors such as the silent treatment, are not conducive to having a productive conversation and can lead to hurt feelings. When you create a safe space to speak to your child, you increase your chances of having a more positive outcome. 

Our ability to regulate our emotions, respect our teen’s space, approach their needs in a respectful manner, and have open and honest conversations with them can positively impact our relationship with our teen, as well as their overall Mental Health. If you’d like to learn more about how to adjust your parenting approach to better fit your child’s needs, or are in need of support with your own Mental health, please reach out to us by scheduling a phone consultation. 

Supporting Our Youth and Their Mental Health Part 2: Recognizing Warning Signs

By Melody Wright, LMFT

In our first blog of our new blog series, Supporting Our Youth and Their Mental Health, we discussed general information regarding our youth, the challenges they face today, and reviewed resources and tips to help support your teen’s current or future mental health needs. In today’s blog, we will take a more in-depth look at the potential signs that a teen displays when they are struggling with their Mental Health. We will also include some of the signs or red flags that would require an immediate response from a parent or caregiver. 

Warning Signs 

A warning sign can be defined as a sign that indicates a condition requiring special attention. With that in mind, we have listed some behaviors below that your teen may display if they are experiencing challenges with their Mental Health:

• Sadness that is persistent and lasts for 2 weeks or more

• Wanting to avoid social events or interactions

• Ongoing somatic symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, etc.)

• Behavior that drastically changes within a short time frame

• Changes in daily patterns (sleeping, eating, school performance, etc.)

• Poor attendance in school

• Participating in self-harming or destructive behaviors

Warning signs help us recognize when our teens are using behaviors to communicate that something is wrong, even if they are not verbally expressing that they are not okay. If your teen is displaying any of the behaviors listed above, we strongly recommend that you schedule an urgent visit with their Primary Care or Mental Health Provider.

Red Flags (Immediate Action Required)

While some of the warning signs above prompt you to book an urgent appointment with a counselor or Pediatrician, the signs we will be discussing below require your immediate attention and action. These are potential warning signs that a teen may display when they are contemplating suicide:

• Making statements or writing about suicide

• Completely withdrawing from social settings or contact with others

• Giving away belongings to friends or family

• Increased use of substances such as alcohol or drugs

• Showing repeated signs that they feel trapped or hopeless about a certain situation or their life in general

We recognize that it is not an easy task to have a conversation about Mental Health or suicide with your teen. It can be just as difficult for a teen to start the conversation with their parent or caregiver when they are having challenges with their mental health. When in doubt, don’t wait for your child to come to you. Having an open and honest conversation with them, and asking about suicide specifically, can create the opportunity to connect your teen with a professional at the right time. For teens or any individual in crisis and considering suicide, immediate support can be provided by calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255.

For ongoing support for your teen, a therapist can provide the consistent level of support they need for them to reach a better place in their mental health. To book a consultation and receive more information about our services, click here. 

Supporting Our Youth and Their Mental Health

By Melody Wright, LMFT

At Life By Design Therapy, we understand the importance of supporting the Mental Health needs for all ages and at all stages of life. Recent trends indicate a need for us to address the Mental Health needs of our youth. Mental health-related illnesses and concerns are becoming increasingly common amongst teens in the United States and globally. It is important for teens, and parents of teens, to have the right information and resources to recognize when a teen may be going through a tough time. It is also important to discuss when it might be time to seek professional help. 

Youth Mental Health and Teen Suicide Rates

According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), children being diagnosed with depression or anxiety has increased over time. For teens specifically, depression, substance use, and suicidality become more prevalent as they get older. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states that suicide was the second leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year old’s in 2021. Some of the risk factors associated with suicidal thoughts and possible attempts include exposure to violence, bullying, access to firearms, and a family history of suicide attempts. 

Challenges Our Teens Face Today

As a caregiver, it may be difficult to relate to the current challenges that our teens face today. That said, it is important to gain a better understanding of these challenges in order to adequately support them. 

Some of the current challenges teens face are associated with the amount of access they have to technology and different social media platforms. These challenges can include the increased prevalence of materialism, peer pressure, exposure to body standards that impact their self-esteem, and incidents of cyberbullying. All of these challenges can impact the way that a teen perceives themselves compared to others, and create feelings of inadequacy should they feel like they “aren’t enough” or don’t “have enough.” 

Additional challenges that teens face can be associated with their family dynamics, their community, the society at large, or the current political climate. Examples of this can include financial responsibilities at a young age, violence in schools, education inequality, a shifting economy, and feelings of uncertainty related to global events such as the Covid pandemic or political conflicts. 

Ways to Support Your Teen

There are different ways to help support our teens depending on the challenge, or challenges, they are currently facing. As parents and caregivers, some of the ways we can support them include:

• Monitor their social media use: Teens and their self-esteem can be greatly affected by what they are exposed to on social media. As their parent or caregiver, it’s important to help them discern between what posts are portraying real life, and what posts or images are capturing staged moments or unrealistic lifestyle standards. (Please note that there is a difference between monitoring and controlling social media use. As your teen grows and develops, it is important to establish a level of trust and independence in order to foster a positive relationship with them. A total control of their social media accounts may hinder their need for independence, and negatively impact your relationship with them.) 

• Create a time to connect: As a teen, it can be difficult to navigate all of the changes that come with adolescence (changes in hormones, increased peer pressure, navigating friendships, etc.). Making time to sit and talk with your teen can give them the space they need to share their current stressors. This also creates an opportunity for them to seek guidance from you, or simply talk about what is currently on their mind. 

• Encourage structure and healthy habits: Creating structure and healthy habits within the home can create a sense of stability for teens. Structure can include a daily routine, designated days for outdoor play or extracurricular activities, and creating a space and time to help them (and you) decompress after a long week. These activities and structure can help with both their physical and mental health. 

Teen-Friendly Resources

There are many available resources that your teen can tap into should they express that they need additional support. Some of those resources include:

• The Trevor Project, information and support for LGBTQ Youth: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ 

• Mindfulness for Teens: http://mindfulnessforteens.com/ 

• Crisis Text Line : www.crisistextline.org/  or Text “START” to 741-741

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  
  

We understand that the needs of our youth are complex and may go beyond some of the topics discussed above. It is our hope to continue providing our readers with additional information and resources regarding teen Mental Health in this new monthly blog series. With that said, if you or someone you love is struggling with their Mental Health, we encourage you to talk to a therapist today. For more information on how to connect with one of our therapists, click here and consider scheduling a consultation.

Dealing with Teen Depression

by Melody Wright, LMFT

As our children grow into teenagers, they go through many changes that can challenge even the most well-intentioned parents. Some teens deal with pressures with a few difficulties while other teens present symptoms of depression. When parents reach out to their struggling teens, this may lead to a negative outcome to what they intended was support.

While teens are known for their moody and unpredictable behaviors, it is important to distinguish between typical teen behavior and teen depression.

What are the Common Contributions to Teen Depression?

The first step in dealing with a teen who may have depression is to understand what contributes to teen depression.

• Lacks self-esteem – May not accept compliments or is defensive when you offer help.

• Bullying at school – Makes comments about altercations with other students or skipping classes to avoid the ones who bully.

• Struggles to fit in with peers and dealing with peer pressure.

• May believe parents do not understand – Comments are, “You just don’t get it.” Or “Everything is fine.”

• Sibling rivalry at home or constantly being compared.

• Frustration with teachers and not feeling supported.

• Navigating their identity and sexuality

• Changes in their body and self-image.

• Exhibiting anxiety about their future from high expectations around academics.

If you suspect your teen is suffering from depression and you offer help, do not take it personally if they are not open to your support.

Daily Stress for Teens

Things such as fitting in with peers can play a significant role in their view of how important they are.  If your teen is struggling with bullying, this quantifies these inferior feelings on a large scale. Children with a learning disorder may get made fun of in class, or more in the locker room, the playground, the bus, or gym when teachers are not present. 

If an older sibling at home picks on them, this creates more stress and feelings of low self-worth.  Even younger siblings can generate aggravation in your teen. Frequent fighting among siblings heightens stress levels for teens and other family members as well. 

At school, some teachers may not be as understanding of each teen.  Or maybe there is a subject your child is not fond of, and they associate the issue with the teacher and may skip class.  

With the physiological changes inside their bodies, the additional stresses at school and cultural norms combined is the perfect storm for any teen to navigate.  No matter what your child is facing, you as their parent are their most significant source of support, understanding, and direction. As much as teens may reject help, a parent must remain reliable, consistent, and understanding.  

Common Signs and Symptoms to Look for with Teen Depression

• Intense emotions (crying spells, angry outbursts, a constant expression of annoyance and frustration) that may appear for no apparent reason.

• They lose interest in previous activities.

• Isolation from friends and family.

• They feel worthless.

• Extremely self-critical or self-blaming.

• Sleeping a lot, having low energy, or continually feeling tired.

• Self-harming behaviors like cutting.

• Acting out or using drugs and alcohol.

• Conflict with friends or family.

• They give less attention to their appearance, including hygiene.

• Struggling academically and having frequent absences.

• Complaints of physical pain such as headaches or body pains.

What You Can Do Today to Support Your Teen

Let your teen know that you love and accept them no matter what. If your teen is struggling to open up, try in the car, at the table during a meal or when just spending time with them, talk about insignificant subjects at first. Some teens are more receptive in this manner.

When they shut down, let them know you are there when they are ready to talk and don’t take it personally when they won’t. Have more casual conversations with your teen and show an interest in what they share with you for more insight into what is on their minds. Practice the art of active listening. As parents, we may be quick to fix their problems or tell them to get over it. Sometimes lending your ear can mean the world of difference to them.

Ask what areas you can help with for more support. Sometimes teens have a difficult time asking for help or are unsure how to bring it up. Instead of assuming they have it all figured out, keep checking in and asking.

Helping Teen Depression with Therapy

If you’re concerned about your teen, talk to them about it. You need not wait until their symptoms get worse; reach out to a therapist. Our holistic and somatic therapists at Life By Design Therapy are experienced in the struggles for today’s teens. We can provide a safe place for your teen to explore and better understand their struggles with depression. Having this additional point of view will give a better understanding so you can bridge the gaps in the communication and help your teen through their depression. Contact us today for an appointment in Berkeley or Richmond, California.

Therapy Reflections

1. What can you do today to show your teen you are available?
2. When was the last time you spent quality time alone with just you and your teen?
3. Have you noticed any of the signs of teen depression in your teen?
4. Are there any conversations you are uncomfortable having with your teen?
5. Are there any emotions your teen exhibits that may trigger you and make it more difficult for you to be present with them?
6. What can you do more of that will show your teen you care about them and love them unconditionally?