Is It Time for Therapy? 10 Signs You Shouldn't Ignore

By Melody Wright, LMFT

In the world we live in, it's easy to let mental health take a backseat to daily responsibilities. The demands of work, family, and social commitments can leave little room for self-care, and many people are struggling to prioritize their mental well-being.

However, just as we regularly check in on our physical health, it’s equally important to pay attention to where we’re at mentally too. Therapy can be a powerful tool for maintaining mental health, offering a safe space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and encourage personal growth. Recognizing when it’s time to seek therapy is a crucial step towards a healthier, happier life.

10 Signs It’s Time to Start Therapy

Persistent Feelings of Sadness or Hopelessness: It's normal to feel sad from time to time, especially in response to life's challenges and losses. However, when feelings of sadness or hopelessness persist for weeks or months without a clear cause, it might be more than just a temporary phase. These persistent feelings can be indicators of depression. Depression can significantly impact your quality of life and therapy can help uncover underlying issues contributing to these emotions. Therapy can also provide strategies for managing the symptoms of depression effectively so you can begin living a more fulfilled life.

Excessive Worry or Anxiety: Worrying occasionally is a part of being human, but when worry becomes excessive and uncontrollable, it can be debilitating. Some anxiety disorders are characterized by chronic anxiety, excessive worry, and fear that interfere with daily activities. If you find yourself consistently on edge, experiencing panic attacks, or avoiding situations due to fear, it might be time to seek help. Therapy can offer valuable tools and techniques to manage anxiety effectively, such as relaxation techniques, and mindfulness practices. If you would like to learn more about Mindfulness practices and how they can help with anxiety, check out our e-book, The Mind-Body Toolkit.

Difficulty Managing Stress: Stress is an inevitable part of life, but it becomes problematic when it feels overwhelming and unmanageable. Chronic stress can take a toll on your mental and physical health, leading to symptoms like headaches, insomnia, and a weakened immune system. It can also affect your mood, causing irritability, depression, and anxiety. A therapist can help you develop healthy ways to handle stress, build resilience, and create a more balanced life.

Physical Symptoms Without a Clear Cause: Sometimes, mental health issues can manifest as physical symptoms. If you experience unexplained aches and pains, frequent headaches, or gastrointestinal problems without a medical diagnosis, it might be worth considering therapy. These physical symptoms can be a sign of underlying emotional distress. A therapist skilled in Somatic interventions can help you explore potential psychological factors contributing to your physical discomfort and develop strategies to address them. By treating the root cause, you may find relief from both the emotional and physical symptoms. If you're interested in learning more about Somatic therapy, you'll want to read our blog "A Guide to Somatic Therapy and It's Techniques".

Loss of Interest in Activities: When you no longer find joy in activities you once enjoyed, it can be a sign of depression or even burnout. This loss of interest can affect various aspects of your life, from hobbies to social interactions, and can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. Therapy can help you explore these feelings and work towards rediscovering your passions.

Difficulty in Relationships: Relationships are fundamental to our well-being, but they can also be complex. If you find yourself struggling in your relationships with family, friends, or colleagues, therapy might be beneficial. Issues such as constant conflict, feelings of disconnection, or difficulty communicating can strain relationships and lead to significant stress. Therapy can help improve your interpersonal skills, support you with communication breakdowns, and cultivate healthier relationships. A therapist can provide a neutral space to discuss these issues and work towards resolving conflicts and building stronger connections. For more information on Couples Therapy, check out our blog on How Couples Therapy Can Strengthen Relationships.

Traumatic Experiences: Experiencing a traumatic event, whether recent or in the past, can have lasting effects on your mental health. Trauma can manifest in various ways, including flashbacks, nightmares, and a heightened state of alertness. But it can also manifest as responses to life and relational stressors. Therapists trained in trauma-informed interventions can offer specialized approaches to help you heal. By working through the trauma in a supportive environment, you can begin to regulate your nervous system and begin to thrive again. If you're looking for regulation tools, check out our Therapist Top Product page!

Substance Abuse: Using alcohol or drugs to cope with emotions or stress can be a sign of deeper issues. Substance abuse often masks underlying mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety, that need to be addressed. Therapy can help you understand and overcome addiction, offering healthier coping mechanisms and support for long-term recovery. A therapist can work with you to uncover the root causes of your substance use and develop a plan to address both the addiction and any underlying issues.

Feeling Overwhelmed by Responsibilities: When life's responsibilities become too much to handle and you feel constantly overwhelmed, it might be time to seek help. Balancing work, family, and personal commitments can be challenging, and it's easy to feel like you're drowning in obligations. This is a very common thing! A therapist can assist in prioritizing tasks, setting realistic goals, and finding balance in your life.

Lack of Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem and self-worth can affect every aspect of your life, from personal relationships to career success. If you struggle with negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy, therapy can help build a more positive self-image and improve your confidence. A therapist can work with you to challenge negative beliefs, develop self-compassion, and create a healthier sense of self-worth. By improving your self-esteem, you can enhance your overall well-being and create a more fulfilling life.

Final Thoughts

We want to remind you that recognizing the need for therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to acknowledge that you need help and to take steps towards improving your mental health. Our therapists here at Life By Design Therapy offer a supportive and non-judgmental space where you can explore your emotions, develop coping strategies, and work toward the personal growth you desire. 

If any of the signs mentioned resonate with you, consider reaching out to a therapist. You can CLICK HERE to schedule a free phone consultation with our coordinator today!

Affirmations 

1. Each step I take in therapy is a step towards a healthier and happier me.

2. I trust the process of therapy and the positive changes it will bring to my life.

3. I am strong enough to face my challenges and seek the help I need.

4. I embrace the opportunity to learn more about myself and my emotions.

5. I am capable of transforming my challenges into opportunities for growth.

Additional Resources

**If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of therapy and self-growth check out these books below:

1. "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach

2. "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

3. “Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present (The Path to Calm)” by Nick Trenton

4. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear

5.  “Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering” by  Joseph Nguyen 

6. “On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy” by Carl R. Rogers

7. “Man's Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl

8. "Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky

9. "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk

10. "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.

What to Expect During Your First Therapy Session

By Melody Wright, LMFT

Picture this: You're sitting in the waiting room, nervously tapping your foot as you await your first therapy session. Thoughts race through your mind like a whirlwind—what will you say? Will you be judged? Can this stranger (I mean your therapist 😜) truly help you unravel what you've been carrying for so long?

If you've ever felt this mix of anticipation and apprehension, you're not alone. Stepping into therapy for the first time is brave and commendable, even so, it's also perfectly normal to feel uneasy about what lies ahead. But what exactly is therapy? Therapy is a space where you have the freedom to embrace every part of yourself. It is a safe space, a collaborative journey, where you can navigate and heal from emotional and psychological experiences to find greater peace, self-worth, and self-love.

When you find a therapist you’re comfortable with, they can support you as you navigate the things that are causing your system to get dysregulated by stress, overwhelm, and trauma. It might look like just talking with your therapist as they ask questions to bring more awareness to your situation or a body-based therapist may walk you through breathing exercises or mindfulness activities to help bring awareness to what your body might be communicating. There is no right way to do therapy. Your therapist is there to support you, guide you, and create a safe environment for you.

**If you would like to learn more about Mindfulness activities, check out our e-book, The Mind-Body Toolkit!

So what happens during your first therapy session? What should you expect? While every therapist is different, we’ll walk you through what you might experience.

Building Safety and Trust:
Insights from Our Therapists' First Sessions

At Life By Design Therapy, our primary goal is to create a sense of safety. Starting therapy often means working with a dysregulated nervous system, which can result from life events that have significantly impacted you. These disruptions can lead to anxiety, depression, boundary issues, and communication breakdowns, often stemming from trauma. When our minds and bodies encounter these disruptions, our nervous system can become dysregulated.

In your first session with a Life By Design therapist, you will be supported in creating a safe environment for yourself and your nervous system. In the initial part of the work, including your first session, our therapists will help you become aware of the signals your body might be sending, guiding you toward a more regulated state for your mind and body.

How to Get the Most Of Therapy

Entering therapy for the first time can be intimidating. You're opening yourself up to vulnerability and introspection, which can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. To help you make the most of your therapeutic journey, here are some dos and don'ts to keep in mind:

1. Ask Questions: Therapy is a collaborative process, and it's okay to seek clarification or express curiosity about the therapeutic approach being used, the goals of therapy, or any other aspect of the process that you're unsure about.
   

2. Have Realistic Expectations: Therapy isn't a quick fix, and progress often takes time. Be patient with yourself and the process. Celebrate small victories along the way, and trust that growth and change are happening, even if they're not immediately apparent. Remember healing is not a linear process.
   

3. Be Compassionate with Yourself: Therapy can stir up intense emotions, and it's important to be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend going through a challenging time.
   

4. Commit to the Process: Consistency is key in therapy. Attend your sessions regularly and engage wholeheartedly in the process. Remember, real change often happens outside of the therapy room as you apply insights and strategies to your daily life.
   

5. Don’t Expect Instant Solutions Or Advice: Therapy is about finding answers within. It isn’t like coaching where they give you all the answers. Trust in the process and give yourself the time and space to grow.
   

6. Honor Your Journey: Each person's therapeutic journey is unique, and progress looks different for everyone. Do your best not to compare yourself to others or measure your success based on someone else's standards. Therapy is about focusing on what’s best for you.
   

7. Embrace Your Imperfections: Therapy isn't about achieving perfection or fixing all your problems. It's about embracing your imperfections, learning from your experiences, and moving towards greater self-awareness and acceptance.

What To Expect During Your First Session

1. Review of Paperwork: Just like with any healthcare provider, you will fill out new client paperwork either before your appointment or at the office before meeting with your therapist. After introductions are made, your therapist will review the consent forms, any initial questionnaires, or other important paperwork. While this part may seem a bit mundane, it's important to understand the expectations and also empower yourself with all the information you'll need about working with your therapist and the therapy process.
   

2. Discuss What's Bringing You In: Your therapist will ask questions to expand the discussion on why you've chosen to seek therapy. Whether it's struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or simply feeling lost and overwhelmed, this is your opportunity to express what's been weighing on you. They might even want to know about any symptoms you’re experiencing, such as physical symptoms, how often you're experiencing those symptoms, and the timing of your symptoms. Remember, there's no judgment here—your therapist is here to listen and support you.
   

3. Setting Goals: You’ll talk about what you hope to achieve in therapy. These goals might be short-term or long-term, specific or more general. Maybe you want to learn healthy coping mechanisms for stress, improve communication skills in your relationships, or gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Your therapist will help you clarify and refine these goals as you progress.
   

4. What to Expect for Yourself: Something you might not anticipate is that therapy might be emotionally draining, especially if you’re a person who tends to hold in emotions. We want you to know that this is normal. It's okay to feel vulnerable, and it's okay if the floodgates of emotion open unexpectedly.
   

Final Thoughts

Starting therapy is a courageous step towards understanding and healing yourself. While the journey may be emotionally, physically, and mentally draining at times, it is also filled with opportunities for profound growth and transformation. By embracing vulnerability, setting clear goals, and building a trusting relationship with your therapist, you pave the way for meaningful change. 

As you move forward, hold onto the knowledge that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are taking steps towards reclaiming control over your mental health and overall well-being. Celebrate your courage and commitment, knowing that you are not alone on this journey—your therapist is there to guide and support you every step of the way.

At Life By Design Therapy, we specialize in Holistic and Somatic Therapy because we believe in seeing people healed in their mind, body, and spirit. Your body possesses the capacity to signal distress, store trauma, and manifest symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and physical ailments. At Life By Design Therapy, we are dedicated to helping you understand your body's messages and supporting you as you learn to navigate and thrive. 



If you’re in California and ready to start your therapy journey, schedule a phone consultation with our Coordinator to pair you with a therapist that best fits your needs. CLICK HERE to schedule. 

Affirmations For Starting therapy

1. I am taking a courageous step towards healing and self-discovery.

2. I deserve to invest in my mental health and well-being.

3. It is okay to seek help and support; I am not alone in this journey.

4. Each therapy session brings me closer to understanding and accepting myself.

5. I am patient with myself as I grow and heal through this process
   

Additional Resources

**If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of therapy and self-growth check out these books below:

1. “On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy” by Carl R. Rogers

2. “Man's Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl

3. "Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine A. Padesky

4. "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk

5. "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown 

6. "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach

7. "Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

8. “Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present (The Path to Calm)” by Nick Trenton

9. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear

10.  “Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering” by  Joseph Nguyen

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here.

5 Things to Expect in Your First Online Therapy Session

By Dr Nia

In the time of coronavirus, we are all adjusting to many stressors: concern about our health and that of our loved ones, school or workplace closures,and financial worries, among others. Many people are experiencing understandable increases in anxiety, depression, and social isolation. Fortunately, online sessions (also known as teletherapy) are an option for staying connected while observing the guidelines around social distancing. Video or phone sessions can allow you to maintain the connection you have with your therapist or develop a new relationship if you are seeking therapy for the first time.  

1. Consent: Similar rules apply in online sessions as in the actual therapy room. The first is that you provide informed consent. This means you agree to treatment and participate willingly, you are aware of the risks/benefits, and you can withdraw from treatment at any time. Your therapist will obtain your consent and make sure to answer any questions you have. Also, your therapist will ask where you are located, since we can only practice in states where we are licensed. 

2. Confidentiality: Another rule is confidentiality, which means your therapist will keep what you share between you, with a few exceptions (child or elder abuse, danger to self/others, and court orders). On your end, it’s helpful to have a private area where you can speak freely. Using earbuds/headphones can improve privacy and sound quality. For added security during your sessions, turn off smart devices, like Alexa, that may be “listening” even when not in use. It can be helpful to let family and other folks know you have an appointment that requires your attention. Children and pets often require our attention so it’s okay if you need to step away. A private space is not always possible but perhaps an option like the family car can work. Rest assured that your therapist will problem-solve with you if you are having trouble finding a confidential space. In my previous work in community mental health, I had sessions with clients in nontraditional locations. This included places like parks, Starbucks, and in one last-minute bind with a hungry kiddo, a Burger King! Although not ideal, we are all having to be more flexible in these times, so try to offer yourself compassion and be creative, while upholding your own confidentiality. 

3. Space: The physical space in a therapy office often creates a feeling immediately when you walk in. Your therapist has likely put a lot of thought into things like furniture, lighting, and even artwork, in order to create a space that feels comfortable and inviting. The benefit of online sessions is you have control over creating this space for yourself. When considering what can help you to feel most at ease during an online therapy session, think about your 5 senses. Would you like a soft throw pillow on your lap or to have a warm drink? Maybe you’d like to light a candle with your favorite scent? Notice how your body feels in the space during the session and make adjustments based on what brings you a sense of calm. 

4. #Awkward: It’s okay to feel a bit apprehensive when doing online therapy for the first time. Normally, interacting in a video format is reserved for friends and family or for work. Online therapy can feel too personal or not personal enough at the same time. There may be times when there are long pauses or eye contact feels too intense. It’s normal to feel self-conscious about seeing yourself on-screen (this comes up a lot with teens). It can help to place a sticky note over your picture and focus on your therapist’s friendly face. You can experiment with different things to help you feel more comfortable, such as angles, distance, and lighting. You and your therapist will work together and gradually develop a rhythm for your online sessions. 

5. Technical difficulties: Despite all our best efforts, these will happen! And when they happen in therapy, they can be ill-timed and cause frustration. Remember to take deep breaths. These challenges are expected and no one is to blame. Closing down other programs on your laptop or phone can help improve your internet connection. As a last resort, you and your therapist may decide to have a phone session. Together, you and your therapist can navigate these difficulties and have an ongoing conversation about how they impact your therapeutic relationship. 

Therapy reflections

1. If this is your first time in therapy, how do you think an online session might be different from in person? What worries or concerns do you have? 

2. If you previously met with your therapist in person, what did you like about the physical space? Is there anything you’d change? 

3. What challenges do you foresee in your online therapy process and how can you plan ahead to work through them?

4. What tools can you use in your own space to create a sense of safety and comfort? 

I hope these tips help you feel more prepared for your video or phone sessions.

How to Get the Most Out of Therapy

by Melody Wright, LMFT

So you’ve made your first therapy appointment with one of our holistic therapists at Life by Design Therapy, and it’s coming up fast. Or perhaps you’re trying to decide about making this first step. You’re ready to improve your life, divulge your hidden thoughts, do all the inner work, and come out the other side making positive steps toward the life of your dreams.

To get the most out of your therapy sessions, there are a few key session habits that can make all the difference. Following these will keep you out of the common pitfalls that are typically experienced along the way.

Have Goals in Mind

To know you are healed, you have to know your definition of healed. This answer can be different for every person. To some people, this may be no longer being affected by relationship trauma. To other people, this may be finally getting your dream job or at least pinpointing what it is. While it’s okay to start without knowing these goals, you (perhaps with the help of your therapist) will want to know your ultimate goal, so you have a gauge of when you no longer need therapy.

Being Open to the Process

Healing and personal growth are rarely straight roads. Your therapist may help you realize strengths in yourself which help you deal with triggers, overwhelming anxiety or depression, relationship wounds, or negative thought patterns that you didn’t know would help. These initial actions may help tremendously for a few weeks, but may then need to be changed as more of your past surfaces. For others, you may read assigned books and do the exercises that help you find your passion, then somewhere along the way recognize something about that career that causes you to go in another direction.

The journey is rarely straightforward. None of the effort goes wasted, either. The arising circumstances show you many facets of your inner growth.

Showing Up Consistently

There may be days along the way when you believe it’s not worth driving to your appointment. Although skipping may sound like a great solution in the moment, it almost never is. People usually skip their appointment when they don’t think they need any more help, when they think they’re just going to talk about the same things as the previous week or when they feel so bad they don’t think anyone can help.

Continuing to come no matter what is extremely important. You may think your life is figured out when it isn’t. Then, soon after, life throws a curveball. You might not be able to fit back into your therapist’s schedule if you passed on your usual spot.

It’s important to know that you are never wasting your therapist’s time. If you think you no longer need help, show up anyway and discuss it together. Also, know it’s perfectly fine to discuss last week’s problems again. Your therapist can help you by helping you work through things in a different way than last time. Letting your therapist know what’s not working can better your results. This way, your therapist can tailor your sessions to your changing needs or struggles.

And your situation is never without hope. When you’ve reached a rock bottom is the time to rely on the professional help you’re avoiding.

While it may be hard, it’s vital to come in no matter what.  

Speak Up Before Ending Therapy

One step further than missing an appointment is deciding you’re through altogether. If you decide you’re done without the agreement of your therapist, there’s a big chance you are missing an important piece of healing. Your therapist wants you to reach your session goals just as much as you do.

If you are tempted to end therapy, bring it up to your therapist. They can enlighten you as to why it’s important for you to continue.

Thankfully nowadays, the need for help is becoming more and more accepted. Now is one of the best times in history to receive help. To get the most out of this opportunity, these four basic steps help tremendously. Showing up is often half the battle and continuing on the therapy path even when it doesn’t feel right is crucial as well. Our therapists at Life by Design Therapy are ready to support your therapy process!