Navigating Anxiety Together: A Guide for Supporting Your Partner

By Melody Wright, LMFT

In the complex dynamics of relationships, we might find ourselves stepping into roles that require not just love and companionship but also patience, understanding, and support. If your partner struggles with anxiety, it might feel like you both are navigating through rough seas, where every wave of worry and fear has the potential to disrupt the stability of your relationship.

Anxiety comes in various forms and it can cast a shadow over even the brightest moments you both share, leaving both partners feeling isolated and uncertain. 

However, even in relationships where anxiety is present, there lies an opportunity for deeper connection and growth. By learning how to support your partner with their anxiety effectively, you not only have the ability to strengthen the foundation of your relationship but also foster an environment of trust, empathy, and resilience. In this blog, we'll discuss ten ways to support your partner through their anxiety by focusing on understanding and kindness. 

Supporting Your Partner

Supporting an anxious partner requires patience, empathy, and a genuine desire to comfort and encourage them. It means understanding their anxiety deeply and being there to provide comfort when they're feeling distressed. Patience helps you navigate their emotions gently, while empathy allows you to connect with their inner feelings of fear and worry. Most importantly, it involves a strong commitment to stand by their side, offering reassurance through all the challenges they face.  So how can you do this?  

1. Ground Yourself: To be present, listen, and have empathy for your partner you need to find ways to ground yourself before attempting.  For those who experience anxiety, it can creep up suddenly, so being prepared to regulate yourself is essential to supporting your partner through it.  You can support yourself with daily meditation, self-care practices, and deep breathing.
   

2. Engage in Active Listening: It’s important to encourage your partner to express their feelings and concerns. However, as you listen it’s also important to show empathy and understanding by actively listening to what they have to say and holding a non-judgmental space for them. Here's a brief example of active listening in a relationship:

   Partner A: "I had a really tough day at work. My boss criticized my project in front of the whole team."

   Partner B: "That sounds really challenging. It must have been frustrating to receive criticism like that. How did you handle it?

   In this example, Partner B actively listens to Partner A's experience, acknowledges their feelings, and encourages further discussion by asking an open-ended question.
   

3. Validate Their Feelings: As you engage in active listening let your partner know that it's okay to feel anxious and that their feelings are valid. Be aware to avoid dismissing or minimizing their emotions.
   

4. Offer Reassurance: Provide verbal reassurance that you are there for them and that they are not alone in dealing with their anxiety. Remind them of their strengths and previous successes in managing anxiety.
   

5. Educate Yourself About Anxiety: Learning about anxiety disorders, their symptoms, and their triggers will only give you a deeper understanding of what your partner is going through and can help you provide better support.
   

6. Encourage Self-Care: For those who experience anxiety, their nervous systems can become dysregulated easily. Help your partner prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, proper nutrition, sufficient sleep, and relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation. This is important for nervous system regulation and reducing anxiety episodes.
   

7. Be Patient and Understanding: Recognize that anxiety can be overwhelming and may affect your partner's behavior and mood. Be patient with them and try to remain calm during moments of heightened anxiety.
   

8. Avoid Criticism: Do your best to refrain from criticizing or blaming your partner for their anxiety. Instead, focus on offering constructive feedback and support.
   

9. Encourage Professional Help: You might suggest seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating anxiety disorders. Your partner might feel supported if you offer to accompany them to their therapy sessions.
   

10. Practice Mindfulness Together: Engage in activities that promote mindfulness, such as yoga or guided meditation. These practices can help both of you manage stress and anxiety more effectively and cultivate a deeper relationship with each other.
    

11. Maintain Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication in your relationship. Check in with your partner regularly to see how they're feeling and what support they may need. Let them know that they can always come to you for help and guidance.

Final Thoughts

We understand that relationships of all kinds are unique. Navigating the complexities of relationships can be challenging and as the other side of the relationship, you might find that you would like support as well. For those who might be experiencing breakdowns in communication, trust issues, or just need someone to bounce thoughts off of, consider speaking with a skilled clinician. Your wellbeing contributes to the wellbeing of your relationship and if you would like support, reach out to one of our therapists today. You can CLICK HERE to schedule a free phone consultation. 

Affirmations for Anxiety 

1. "I am calm, centered, and in control of my thoughts and emotions."

2. "I trust in my ability to overcome challenges and face uncertainty with courage."

3. "I am worthy of peace and relaxation, and I deserve to prioritize my mental well-being."

4. "I release all tension and fear from my mind and body, allowing tranquility to flow through me."

5. "I am safe and secure in this present moment, and I trust in the journey ahead."

Additional Resources

**If you’re interested in expanding your knowledge on anxiety and how to support someone with anxiety, check out these books below:

1. "Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast" by Barry McDonagh

2. "Anxiety: Panicking about Panic: A powerful, self-help guide for those suffering from an Anxiety or Panic Disorder" by Joshua Fletcher

3. "The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety: The 8-Week Solution to Help You Manage Anxiety, Worry, and Stress" by Tanya J. Peterson MS NCC

4. "My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind" by Scott Stossel

5. "Loving Someone with Anxiety: Understanding and Helping Your Partner" by Kate N. Thieda MS LPCA NCC

6. Anxious Attachment Recovery: Go From Being Clingy to Confident & Secure In Your Relationships (Break Free and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships By Linda Hill

7. Overcome Overthinking and Anxiety in Your Relationship: A Practical Guide to Improve Communication, Solve Conflicts, and Build a Healthy Marriage By Robert J Charles

8. Anxiety in Relationship: Free Yourself From Anxiety and Fears, Stop Suffering and Enjoy Your Love Relationship With Your Partner by Patricia Peterman

9. Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings by Thibaut Meurisse 

10.  Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Judson Brewer

**Some product links are affiliate links, which means we'll receive a commission if you purchase through our link, at no extra cost to you. Please read full disclosurehere.

Is This Anxiety or Trauma? Anxious Behaviors vs. Trauma Responses

By Melody Wright, LMFT

When talking about mental health with others, you might notice that some of the signs and symptoms of Anxiety and Trauma may sound very familiar despite stemming from different events or diagnoses. For individuals wanting to learn more about their own mental health, or experiencing symptoms that may be related to anxiety or trauma, it can be very helpful to understand where their current symptoms stem from. This can help us seek and identify resources that will help us address our symptoms, as well as learn new ways to regulate ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or on edge. 

What is Trauma?

The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an “emotional response to a terrible event” such as abuse, community violence, or experiencing significant injury or loss. The symptoms we exhibit after experiencing trauma are directly related to events that happened in our past that did not make us feel safe or put us directly in the middle of unsafe situations. Some of the symptoms that people exhibit after experiencing trauma can include fatigue, feeling sad, and hopeless, experiencing mood swings, and withdrawing from others. Some symptoms can be more severe and can have long-term impacts on an individual, including experiencing consistent flashbacks to a traumatic event, developing panic attacks, sleep problems, or anxiety (also known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder). 

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety can be described as consistent and intense worrying over everyday situations, usually situations that have not yet happened yet. Anxiety sends a message to our brain that we need to do more to prepare for a possible, or upcoming, future event. Some of the physical symptoms that someone can experience when feeling anxious include a fast heart rate, sweating, and rapid breathing. While the causes of anxiety can vary, many people experience anxiety as a result of going through traumatic childhoods or events. 

What Do Anxious Behaviors Look Like?

While anxious behaviors can serve a purpose when they function as part of our body’s defense mechanisms (fight, flight, freeze, etc.), they can create an issue when they occur consistently and at the wrong times. Anxious behaviors can include the following:

• Ongoing feelings of nervousness, restlessness, or feeling “on-edge”

• Feeling irritable

• Experiencing headaches, stomach pains, or other unexplained pains

• Difficulty concentrating or falling/staying asleep

What Do Trauma Responses Look Like?

Traumatic responses are your body’s reaction to trauma. They can include the following:

• Inability to focus or make decisions

• The need to feel guarded or alert at all times

• Flashbacks or constant thoughts of a previous traumatic event

• Being easily startled in settings or situations that do not require you to be on high alert

As you can see from the descriptions and symptoms above, traumatic responses and anxious behaviors can feel similar in the body. The difference between a trauma response and an anxious behavior is where the symptoms are stemming from. Are the symptoms stemming from past events that your body identified as traumatic? Or are they stemming from concerns about future events or events that have not yet taken place (anxiety)? It is also important to know that trauma and anxiety may be connected for some individuals; One can develop anxious behaviors after experiencing traumatic events. 

What Can I Do?

Whether you experience anxious behaviors or trauma responses, it can feel overwhelming to see the impact they can create in our bodies. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way; 1 in 5 people experience anxiety in their lifetime, and 50-60% of people experience at least 1 traumatic event in their lives. Steps toward healing the body can be taken by learning how to regulate ourselves when we start to feel nervous, anxious, fearful, or on edge.

If you find yourself needing support to learn new skills to help you regulate, help address past trauma, or you’re interested in learning more strategies to combat your anxious thoughts, we encourage you to book a phone consultation today at Life by Design. Life by Design offers therapeutic services with qualified professionals that can give you the tools you need to help address your traumatic responses and anxious behaviors. Book a phone consultation here today for more information and to get you connected to additional support.